Firstly BIG apologies for the absence of a blog until now – it’s such a busy life having fun.
Lets start at the beginning, last Wednesday – well actually for the Manchester Crew it started on Tuesday evening when we all stayed at Jason’s (whilst Jason went to work........ Already you can tell who's editing this) – doesn’t the XBox have a lot to answer for – at least by the time we got to Banff we were all speaking again.
Actually for the Gatwick two, the “fun” started on Tuesday as well, Claire may well now be looking at a new career as a carer. We know from a reliable source that Shollox spent most of the 9 hour flight on all fours in the aisle. That takes some doing without alcohol !!!!!!!!!
The Red Carpet Inn, our chosen home for the 10 days, is just fine, ski bus stops outside. This system is extremely well organised so works brilliantly, there is a seat for everyone and if the first bus is full they just radio for another, so never any hassle, use of swimming pool (if you don't lose your trunks - my best Speedo's as well), two hot tubs and a sauna. All this plus rooms containing 2 kingsize beds and a fridge. Lucy and Kingy desperately looking for someone to share. Although having said that it does appear that J may have made a hit at the Elk and Oarsman yesterday evening – having caught the eye of the waitress who referred to him all evening as Mr MeatBall (J trying to convince us it was something to do with the meal he ordered) - yeah right.
Lucy used the sauna, and is keen to go again after joining a couple of nice, non Canadian speaking German gents, who were stark naked, despite the notice insisting on clothes being worn.
We are proud to report that we have all mastered the Canadian language and are possibly experts now.
Sadly though Shollox has been unable to board until yesterday, In his effort to further International Relations he has helped the local chiropractor (who lubes up fully before taking $40 from Steve for the pleasure) fulfil his dream of retiring early to a ranch in the backwater. The skiers have had full days, at Sunshine Village and Lake Louise, the bus service works brilliantly, always on time, right outside our front door. Luckily for the older skier the buses do have a loo. On one return trip several passengers reported a possible terrorist attack after Grumps had been to the loo, left the seat up which then smashed to down when the bus went round a corner, causing a considerable amount of noise. Whilst on the subject of loos, which we seem to spend a lot of time on, Shollox had a once in a lifetime experience at Lake Louise when making eye contact with a big fat Chinese man, trousers round his ankles, sat on the loo – door open – obviously in need of of Exlax, demonstrating how to use a Canadian loo.
Tuesday – Now hopefully on to proper blogs – The three ski school pupils ended their last lesson day at Norquay with races and lots of fun things (lucky us) although we all had to leave early so missed the BIG presentations – ah shame, especially after Grumps WON all three of his races, whilst Lucy and Dangerous Dave managed to win two and draw one, a remarkable achievement. But it is left to Grumps to prove that it really is necessary to have a practise week first before taking on any BIG competitions like that (I believe an F1 style testing ban should be imposed from 2011). Congratulations must go to Lucy who won the overall time trial so is now the proud owner of a gold (ish) medal. She is so uncompetitive, as you can imagine that we really don’t understand why one of her closest rivals lodged a complaint of interference from a ski pole. Lucy insists and we all believe her that she was only pointing out the course using her pole for directions when it inadvertently hit the other participant around the head !!!! Following this British success story we are awaiting the arrival of the media any time now, should they be able to get on a flight out of the UK. We were all so very proud of Lucy, but not enough to keep her in fine wine for the rest of the holiday.
Claire, Steve and Jason went to Lake Louise and had a super day, boarding and ski-ing, where the boys re-discovered that age old tradition of creating yellow snow, lets hope it never becomes warm enough for them to try writing their names in the snow as well.!!!!!! Claire really does deserve a medal for endurance – no not for ski-ing for her strength of character spending a whole day with those two.
Before we close Tuesday we must tell you of a popular lunch dish - putine – chips, cheese and gravy !!!!!!!!!!!!! On sighting this dish often a cry goes up of- “The bitch day give me no chips”.
Wednesday
The morning started in various ways – several different breakfast times. As yet we have resisted the temptation to rearrange the breakfast tables,this is mainly due to the fact that we all wander in at different times!!! The Teweys went off down town to visit Melissa’s (say no more – nudge nudge) for breakfast whilst the Shollox Group went early to top up the Chiropractor’s bank balance(more lube). It is now 11.00 am, everybody is either on the slopes or on their way. The Ladies wot lunch are going on a snowshoe walking afternoon. Be back later to report on the day.
Snow shoeing was a truly wonderful experience, which both ladies really enjoyed, although they were absolutely shattered and very quiet over dinner, at this point it must be added “for a change”. The skiers and boarders again had an excellent day. Where is all this sunshine coming from.???? It is true to say that we are all still “gobsmacked” at the conditions, the width of the runs, the superb pisteing, the ultra pleasant staff plus the fantastic weather.
Dinner tonight was taken at the Italian/Swiss restaurant next door to the hotel. A good move as it wasn’t too far too walk (at minus 15C) and so far the majority vote is that it was the best meal yet, only exception to this being Grumps. A reasonable early night, with Steve probably being unable to sleep at the excitement of his first board lesson dawning tomorrow – so watch this space.
Thursday
Everyone caught the same bus up to Lake Louise to see Steve off on his lesson, afterwards the skiers went off, and the ladies wot lunch were forced to have a cup of Starbucks finest, before heading off to The Chateau at Lake Louise to see the Ice Sculptors. How fabulous they were indeed, one of the rules was that the finished sculpture had to be a minimum of 7 foot and a maximum of 13 foot. We are extremely proud to say that the British entry won 3rd prize – no it wasn’t done by the ladies –silly you.
Lake Louise is just so beautiful, so a good morning there ending “upstairs” meeting up with everyone for lunch. Steve had done brilliantly on his lesson and was keen to go again after lunch, so much so that his intake of alcohol at lunch was zero (plus he side stepped another burger) – which is more than can be said for the others. Quite understandable tough for them as they had witnessed Kingy hurtling down the slope on his back with his board behind him and poor Grumps following him on his back at a million miles an hour heading for the trees. At this point Tewey and Lucy were seen to be hiding their eyes – and waiting for the bang. Them King boys are ‘ard though (safe to say a confidence building blue was required after the slide). So onwards and upwards after lunch.
Now, having a few drinks in Party Leaders room, before trecking off for an Indian this evening. Steve has done double diamond black runs and been jumping in the board park. So Timmy please start practising for next year !!!! as Jason has also been a black expert this year (mainly on my arse if I'm honest). It has been noted that Steve has some really nice board trousers (Quicksilver Cord), that Kaysie has coveted all week and still lives in hope that he will pass them on to a poor old pensioner before he leaves Canada (despite the fact they let water in). Lucy and Grumps are pleased to announce that they caught the last chair up the mountain and did a superb run down. Claire once again is in the running for the endurance Canada medal. Tomorrow Steve is having another lesson – so watch this space.
This evening Hells Bells had lured Dangerous Dave to the hot springs, apparently with false promises as in the end they didn’t go!, but went to Melissa’s for their meal, whilst the others went to an Indian Restaurant which all declared was excellent.
All had a reasonably early night as it’s out last day here tomorrow, and we want to make the most of it.
Friday
Our last very sad day, we set off with grumpy faces to Sunshine Village, with the intention of staying as a group. Now why is it that the skiers go in one direction and the boarders in the other – which group needs to check their deodorant?
However we had yet another superb day, at the end of the day we all felt we were “skied out”, much of this was physiological as we knew we would be homewood bound tomorrow, Hells Bells and Kaysie had taken a gondola up Sulphur Mountain, and had another brilliant day, fantastic views all round, so much so they decided do a full ladies wot lunch day.
It seems that Kaysie had Hells Bells arm up her back and forced her into buying a very nice red top, obviously much against her will. To prove this point she went out in it for the last supper, prior to this pre dinner drinks were served in 319, courtesy of Kingy and The Shollox Group. We all went for our last Banff meal to the Rose and Crown, complete with a Beatles tribute band. Lucy, Dangerous and Hells told us it was very good as we had left early to take the oldies back to the hotel.
This decision was made when Grumps began asking inappropriate questions about other diners (in a very loud voice) and Kaysie was doing her own version of Big Fish, Little Fish – Toilet roll ??? – ummmmmmmmmmmm – old people – cant take them anywhere.
Looking forward to the hangovers tomorrow.
